Celina Jaitly: I was in utter disbelief when I saw the trolling

Ahead of International Women’s Day, former actor Celina Jaitly took to her Instagram handle and shared a letter talking about her most trolled photograph. In the photo, she can be seen wearing a swimsuit while breastfeeding one of her twins, while the other is placed right beside her. The actor, last seen in Thank You (2011) was criticised for wearing a bikini and not holding one baby in her arms. “Trolling is a cowardly act. It’s easy to troll someone when they aren’t looking or when they can’t fight back. There’s something about the anonymity of the internet that brings out the worst in trolls. I was called everything from a ‘witch’ to a ‘whale’. While the bikini had a lot to do with the trolling, I was also attacked for placing one of my twin babies next to me and not holding him in my arms,” she tells us.

“Babies don’t always want to be held. They love to kick their legs and feel free. When you have twins, you are also always switching between babies according to their needs. Viraaj in my lap had just finished feeding and Winston wanted to kick about and enjoy the sunshine and soak the vitamin D,” she also clarifies.

Reacting to the trolling on that photograph, Jaitly expresses, “My first reaction was of utter disbelief. No matter how much you love and care for your children, it can be difficult to hear criticism about your parenting. Even though I am a person who always remains open and willing to listen, this was not only below the belt but it was an attack on every woman who wanted to hold on to her individuality despite embracing motherhood.”

“Even though I wanted to wage a war on the trolls I decided to stay quiet and starve them. I wanted to enjoy being a new mom, I wanted to enjoy being a mom to twins and save all my energy for my babies and no one else. I hurt a lot inside but I am a soldier and a war hero’s daughter. I was brought up to thrive in all sorts of circumstances,” the 42-year-old further adds.

Jaitly shares that no one was sensitive towards her and it was her husband Peter Haag who was standing beside her. “No one showed any consideration towards me. I was being shamed for being a human, for not losing my identity just because I became a mother, for my mothering skills which did not fit in with preconceived expectations of the society. My husband Peter was a pillar for me. He said that I should focus on reclaiming my courage in a culture of shame. I have always held that close to my mind whenever I am judged,” she explains.

The former actor feels that it is high time people start respecting women and their choices. “Even in today’s times, women are still treated as outlaws in a man’s world. No matter how much we have achieved in our lives, we have to defend every stance constantly and are judged for everything we do. The perceived danger of independent women continues to invite toxic bullying and name calling.”

Ask Jaitly if the social media negativity takes a toll on her mental peace and gets onto her, she shares, “Not always but sometimes it does hit a nerve. We are human beings after all, we hurt and bleed like everyone else. The problem is that the internet is not a safe place. It leaves everyone exposed and vulnerable,” and continues, “Through the computer screen, there aren’t any real consequences or downright legal actions to make them think twice about letting their inner nastiness out. These assaulters are not interested in having civilized, rational conversations. Their arguments aren’t logical, and they’re certainly not strong debaters.”

“I ignore them most of the times as they are not worth the effort. However, sometimes it’s important to stand up for yourself and if you can stand up through that process for many others it is indeed an added bonus. But my message to all trolls and bullies is that – ‘No one heals himself by wounding another,'” she wraps up.